Kitsune Heart

My bingo card

2025-08-08T08:10:00Z

Yuletide	Repod Your Own Podfic	Disability	Rare Pairing	Collaborate with someone new
Robots/Androids	Punch & Roll Editing	Slur/Mumble	Multiple POVs	Minor Character
Random Fic	Higher Pitch Effect	FREE SPACE	Record While Lying Down	Use a Speed Effect
Repod Cold	Polyamory/Polycule	Splice Fics Together	Naked	Lower Pitch Effect
Higher Vocal Range (for you)	Record in Bed	Read Slowly (for you)	Fluff	Read Sexy

Yuletide	Repod Your Own Podfic	Disability	Rare Pairing	Collaborate with someone new
Robots/Androids	Punch & Roll Editing	Slur/Mumble	Multiple POVs	Minor Character
Random Fic	Higher Pitch Effect	FREE SPACE	Record While Lying Down	Use a Speed Effect
Repod Cold	Polyamory/Polycule	Splice Fics Together	Naked	Lower Pitch Effect
Higher Vocal Range (for you)	Record in Bed	Read Slowly (for you)	Fluff	Read Sexy

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My podfic bingo card!

2024-08-04T04:10:41Z

Incorporate Sound Effects	Splice Fics Together	Crossover/Fusion	Het	Read Drunkenly
5+1 Things	Use Protection/Filters	Restrained	Record at a new time	Dirty Talk
Lower Vocal Range (for you)	Unpopular/Disliked Character	POV outsider	Read Quietly	Unfamiliar Fandom
Ace/Aro Character	Read Angrily	Higher Pitch Effect	Try something new (for you)	Naked
Child Character	New Author (for you)	Record in Bed	Unfamiliar Pairing	Canon-Typical X

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Check-in #3

2020-12-20T04:58:18Z

What a change in five weeks! The world is looking a bit brighter, over here!

Well, my discovery today was that I can hook my snowball mic up to my phone for recording, instead of having to lug out my laptop. That's going to be a game-changer! I'm still in the running!

What's up with everyone else? How's progress? What's blocking you? Anyone done, you little overachievers?

In addition to check-in, today also begins the art sign-ups! If you want someone to make cover art for you, go to this post and follow instructions.

If you want to make cover art for someone else, also go to this post and follow instructions!

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New podfic page on Reddit

2019-07-15T04:43:49Z

I noticed there was no r/podfic page, so I decided to set it up. It's very basic, but it's another way for our community to get together.

https://www.reddit.com/r/podfic/

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The Zelda ABCs

2012-09-08T22:16:11Z

A short poem, written four years ago, for which Kit apologizes most profusely

A is for arrow, for a swift attack.

B is for boomerang, always comes back.

C is for clawshot, or hookshot by name.

D is for Dodongo, with lava flame.

E is for Epona, loyal swift steed.

F is for fairy, who appears when in need.

G is for Ganon, the antagonist.

H is for Hey! Listen! It leaves us quite pissed.

I is for Impa, the nurse who kicks ass.

J is for Jabu, overgrown bass.

K is for keese, run from ice and fire.

L is for Link, our hero for hire.

M is for Malon, who raised your young horse.

N is for Nayru, a powerful force.

O is for octoroc, makes your shield ring.

P is for piece of heart, satisfying.

Q is for Queen Ghoma, arachnid belle.

R is for redead, just scary as hell.

S is for Saria's Song, letting you in.

T is for Tingle, we wonder 'bout him....

U is for up thrust, when enemies hail.

V is for Valoo, and his poor, sore tail.

W is for wolfos, they are not Link's kind.

X is for X-shaped jewel, all I could find.

Y is for Young Link, he's strong, so beware.

Z is for Zelda, out wise princess fair.

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My Little Pony: Take me to the sky

2012-09-06T21:14:28Z

I'm particularly proud of this fanfic, as it won me the Everfree NW Iron Author Challenge. Yay, recognition!

When she was a young pony, Rainbow Dash flew everywhere. From her house in the clouds to Ponyville. Across town to met friends. Inside of houses and shops. She was never at ease when her hooves touched earth. Leave that to Pinkie and Applejack, or even to Rarity and Twilight. Or, well, Fluttershy, too. But she was a pegasus, all the way down to her soul, and the only time her heart felt full was when her wings were wide-spread, muscles fighting gravity, bones and tendons defying her actual build.

She'd done great things. Given Ponyville the best weather in all of Equestria. Starred in the Wonderbolts, bringing awe to crowds and protecting the land. She'd even coached other up-and-coming fliers. Her proudest moment had been when Thunderheart, Fluttershy's second daughter, had told her family and her mentor that she'd accepted Celestia's invitation to join Canterlot's weather team. Rainbow Dash had given Fluttershy a nuzzle and the most comforting words she could muster, unsure if the tears were pride over what her own blood had attained, or sorrow at losing her baby girl.

It had been an amazing career. And she wasn't surprised that it ended as it had.

She'd watched Spitfire and Soarin' push the Wonderbolts to new and amazing levels, and then, quietly, retire, content to wait and watch and advise new recruits. They occasionally took to the air to give examples of the most complicated tricks, only to go back to ground after a minute or two, joking that they'd regret it in the morning. When Spitfire told Rainbow her reasons for quitting and the inevitable fate of all pegasi, Rainbow—matured much since her days in Ponyville—had listened and known that this was a Wonderbolts legacy, not an individual curse.

So she'd flown hard, far, fast, tight, and each wing-beat didn't send her closer to the sun, but further down to earth.

She'd barely passed her breeding age—unfulfilled, but by her own choice—when her doctor sat her down after an examination and informed Rainbow Dash that he'd seen irregularities in the responses from her wings. He took x-rays, though they weren't really necessary. She knew, he knew, every pegasus knew.

Each wing-beat had shifted bone around bone, the thick cartilage between protecting the hard calcium from wear and tear, while sacrificing itself. Until, years later, it could do so no more, worn away to little more than paper-thin tissue.

He gave her a few more years to bow out gracefully, and then it was no longer her decision. The doctor told the Wonderbolt's captain, and Rainbow Dash was told, gently, that she would be welcome back as a part-time coach, but that he could never put her in a show again. She was the best flier he'd ever seen…when she was a young mare, but now she was grounded.

So, after Spitfire and Soarin's retirements, Rainbow Dash wasn't surprised, but she had barely been able to keep from turning and bucking the stallion in the face for his presumption.

She left the team and went to downtown Canterlot and asked Thunderheart out to lunch. The red mare was thrilled, and they'd gone to the cafe just below her apartment. They talked for so long that, when they heard the great wing-beats of Princess Luna launching herself from Canterlot Castle, they had looked at each other, startled, and, laughing, waved their waiter over so they could order dinner.

Rainbow Dash had never been tentative in speech, but it did take her those several hours to get to the point where she could be brash as she told Thunderheart that she was going to apply for the Canterlot weather team.

Thunderheart froze. "That's…I-I mean…Rainbow Dash, you're an amazing flier, but the weather team…it's really hard work, and—"

"I kept Ponyville in order for ten years on my own," Rainbow Dash broke in. "I'm certain I could help you lot order the clouds around."

"I'm sure you could," Thunderheart said, using far too much emphasis. She placed a hoof on the table, reaching over to rub it against her mentor's. "I'd love you on my team. I would. But…there are…age restrictions."

Rainbow looked at her stonily. "Are you telling me, young lady, that you think I am too old to work?"

"No!" Thunderheart's wings fluttered, bringing to mind her dam, while her wide-eyed confusion spoke more of her sire. "I don't, Rainbow Dash. It's just that I don't get to make the rules. Otherwise, I'd give you a contact right this second!"

"And what," Rainbow said, coldly, "do you expect me to do instead?"

"Well…Twilight is the top professor at the School for Gifted Unicorns. And Rarity has revolutionizedfashion with her Academy. I know the Wonderbolts are always eager for coaches."

"They are eager for coaches because none of use can stand it," Dash said, pushing back from the table and going to her hooves. "Watching you all mangling our routines, ignoring our advice because we're on the ground and you're the ones in the suits!"

"Rainbow Dash, I'm sure it's not like that—"

"I'll pay for dinner," the cyan mare interrupted, walking into the shop, struggling to grip her wingtips on the flap of her saddlebag. "It's the least Ican do for you."

Thunderheart almost took to her wings to catch up. She caught herself at half-extension and slowly tucked them back to her sides, watching while Rainbow paid and walked out of the cafe's other door without so much as another word.

She couldn't stand to be in Canterlot any longer. Not with children running up to her with plushie Wonderbolts, asking the great Rainbow Dash for signatures. Asking when they could see her next show.

She'd considered flying back to Ponyville for her visit, but she had always loved the train, and just one look at the star of the Wonderbolts and the ticket attendant had bumped her to first class. Dash walked off the train a little wobbly from dandelion wine, but in much higher spirits.

You couldn't spend ten minutes in Ponyville without one certain mare knowing you'd arrived, so Rainbow decided to hasten the chaos and made her own way into Sugarcube Corner.

Pinkie Pie screamed so loud she actually broke a light-bulb, the sparks sizzling down onto her hair and lighting the earth pony with little stars (though, thankfully, not with actual fire). Rainbow Dash was dragged behind the counter and babbled at for a full hour while Pinkie continued working.

Carrot Cake was in and out for just seconds, taking fresh pastries for delivery, but Pound Cake remained in the bakery. He fetched the bubbly pony huge sacks of flour and wood for the fireplace, his horn glowing brightly. Half the time, though, he didn't bother with magical strength, putting broad shoulders to work. Rainbow Dash watched him carefully—she wasn't a young mare anymore, but she could appreciate his messy brown hair and the sheen of sweat on his flanks—but he watched Pinkie Pie far more carefully. His lips moved and he looked a bit up and to the right every time she selected an ingredient for her latest mixture.

In the middle of a plain vanilla cake, Rainbow Dash saw him jump a few inches in the air as Pinkie's hoof strayed towards a bowl of shaved nutmeg. His horn glowed and the bowl was silently shifted out of the way, sugar taking its place.

Pinkie poured it with no comment to Pound Cake, still too focused on her old, old friend.

Pound sighed in relief. When he noticed Rainbow watching him, he smiled, rolled his eyes, and went off for more wood.

Rainbow Dash had excused herself, then. Pinkie only allowed it after a promise to make the world's biggest parfait for them to share later that evening at Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow simply nodded and headed off to the farm.

Sweet Apple Acres was just as big, but it all seemed so much…tighter. Green Thumb's doing, no doubt. Big Mac and Fluttershy's eldest boy had done amazing things with the land. The fruit trees nearly bowed down from the weight of nearly-ripened fruit, and the main crop was joined by a vibrant variety of vegetables, many of which Rainbow had never seen before.

An hour later, she'd gone from never seeing them to having tasted them all, smiling indulgently as Green Thumb rattled off names of ancient and new varieties, their merits, and their trials.

It was a raw meal, the cook being temporarily out of commission. Rainbow Dash had been directed to Applejack's room to look in, finding the mare asleep atop her covers. Her flanks were going white, though—as with all ponies—there was no impact on her cutie mark. She snored. A lot. And it made Rainbow Dash laugh. She stopped it quickly, afraid to wake her friend, but there wasn't so much as a "what in tarnation!" in response.

The sun was far down when Dash heard wing-beats and turned from Greeny towards the front door, expecting to see Gaslight, Fluttershy's eldest daughter and Ponyville's resident electrician, but instead watched as the girl's mother touched down gently on the front steps, the huge cage she carried touching earth slightly before the mare.

"Oh, Mom…did you have to?" Green Thumb left Rainbow and walked to Fluttershy, looking into the cage and jumping back as the raccoon inside hissed.

"He's in a delicate state," Fluttershy said, pressing her cheek to the bars and getting a lick instead of a mauling. "I'll need to watch him overnight."

"Dad's not going to like that…."

"Well," Fluttershy said, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "he'll just have to say something about it, won't he?"

Greeny snorted and looked back to Rainbow Dash, hoping one of his mother's old friends might be able to talk some reason into Fluttershy.

Fluttershy. Fluttershy could hardly fly. So, as a filly, she almost never did. And now her legs were strong and her wings flexed out to their full extent before nestling against her back, their owner giving Rainbow a gentle smile.

"It's so good to see you, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said, trotting up and nuzzling her old friend.

"Yeah…." Rainbow whispered, resting her muzzle between Flutterhy's ears.

The next morning, before Celestia did her duty, Rainbow awoke only second in the house. Applejack seemed to have finally left her slumber, and was making the largest breakfast that Rainbow had ever seen.

"Farmers have big stomachs," AJ said, ladling out yet another flapjack. "If I don't get this lot full before work, they're just gonna waste away by noontime. Foals these days, don't got no stayin' power."

Rainbow had laughed and accepted the gift of a slice of last night's pie to take along for a morning walk. It was cold, but sweet, and she was grateful for the energy it gave.

The skies were clear, now. Dash had watched a green pegasus with buzzed blue hair sweep the clouds away. It was the first time in weeks that she had woken up early enough to watch the morning weather change, and Rainbow Dash had been satisfied, if not impressed. He'd missed several cumulus on his first pass, and her wings had creaked open, feathers shifting in a gentle breeze, but then he was back, finishing the fine details, saluting the mare when he noticed her observation.

Rainbow Dash closed her wings and nodded at him, then continued on her way to downtown Ponyville, taking small steps, aching.

The clock tower was always open. After all, it was a small town. Everyone trusted one another. So Rainbow Dash climbed creakily to the bell, and then up thin stairs and through a small door in the roof to the tallest point in Ponyville.

She stood at the apex, two hooves to either side, a little unsteady on the slope.

The wind was picking up. Looking to the horizon, she saw a few tiny clouds coming back. That green pegasus was not doing his job quite so well as she thought. He was going to get a reprimand from the weather team for that.

Rainbow considered the horizon. The wind. The way her feathers shifted in the breeze.

Her joints screamed when she opened her wings.

The wind wanted to lift her. It just wasn't quite strong enough.

So Rainbow Dash let her wings beat once, hard, and felt that old swell in her heart as her hooves stopped touching anything but air.

She laughed. Beat her wings again. Rose higher into the air. It hurt so much. Tears were forming in the corners of her eyes. She beat her wings again. A fourth time. And now she was high above the clock tower, the wind growing stronger with altitude, lifting her further and further.

Rainbow Dash looked back to the horizon and the tufts of clouds and tilted her head.

He was just a young pegasus, that green one. It would be a real pity to see him in trouble for such a small thing.

Ponyville awoke to a Sonic Rainboom at dawn.

Fluttershy trampled downstairs and found Applejack looking out the window, a flapjack burning on the stove. The orange pony looked back at her sister-in-law and Fluttershy nodded in understanding. She was out the door and into the air a moment later, wings pumping hard, following the fading trail of light.

She found Dash in a little field on the other side of Ponyville. It had been easy to find her, despite the sky being clear of color once more. There was a deep brown line among the grass and flowers, and at the end was a shock of blue and little scraps of the rainbow.

Fluttershy didn't bother checking on her friend when she landed at her side. Instead, she folded her legs under her, sinking to the earth and laying her neck across the old daredevil's own, stretching out her yellow wings to cover those of broken, magnificent cyan.

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My Little Pony: 100 Sunrises and Moonsets

2012-09-06T21:07:46Z

This story is my attempt to fulfill the prompts of the Fanart 100, with drabbles (100 word fics). There will be one chapter per day.

The Fanart 100 gives 95 prompts and 5 blanks for artist's choice, but I'm putting creative power in your hands. For each chapter, each reviewer can give a single-word prompt. My final five prompts will be picked with a random number generator.

You can repeat a prompt suggestion. Thus, if you really want a certain prompt (muffins?), review each chapter and end with that prompt each time, and it's in 95 times! Prompt are single words, not lengthy descriptions. No explicit prompts will be accepted.

Obviously, since 13 chapters are being posted here, I'll allow you to do 13 prompts now. In future, I should be able to post each drabble on it's own.

So please review and leave your prompt!

Readers interested in following Kitsune Heart's writing can be put on her e-mail list for alerts. Just send a message to kitsuneheartwriting+subscribe@gmail.com.

Chapter 1: Beginnings

"It…it's awfully…big," Celestia whispered, wings closed tight to her flanks.

"Two times ten to the thirtieth kilograms," her mother agreed, tail flipping as she held in a smile at her little one's discomfort.

"One point nine eight nine," Celestia corrected, rather distractedly.

"Oh. My apologies, Celly." Leaning down, she nuzzled the filly's shoulder, dislodging her hooves from the ground. Rather impressive, considering she'd been standing there like she'd stepped in concrete hours before. "Well…ready?"

Celestia's wings fluttered and she swallowed, throat moving in one long pull. Then, she spread her wings, gathered her spindly legs…and flew.

Chapter 2: Middles

His wife had never been…small. At least, not since his darling had begun spending evenings with his family at the start of their courtship. Which was fine! He loved his wife's curves. Many ponies were self-conscious about their shape, but she never seemed to notice, and she was still as physically active as any other pony.

Now, though, it was sort of…fascinating. He sat back and watched as Cup Cake tied an extra length of string to the original apron ties, and it still barely managed to reach around her very, very occupied belly.

She was…perfect.

Chapter 3: Ends

She was losing them. They would never come back. No words. Nothing. Just…this was it.

The best she could do was imagine what would happen as they grew older. New jobs. Relationships. Perhaps even marriage and foals. Then…illnesses and failures and deaths. But she'd never know. Could never know. This was all she would get, cursed by their creator to forever wonder, hope, and dread.

Twilight hesitated. Considered just stopping. Putting off this final goodbye forever. Leave it this way and protect her heart.

But, despite the dread, she couldn't resist, and so she turned the final page.

Chapter 4: Insides

Oh, she was just…just fantastic. He could tell. He could always tell, deep down, when he found a really good one. Sort of like picking out the ripest melon in the grocery. Just with less rapping and listening for hollow sounds.

Well, normally. Some species, it helped.

This one, though, a-mazing! Intelligent. Brave. Feisty. A pony, true, but that was only weird according to certain definitions of "weird."

The brown stallion opened the door and stepped back, waving a hoof to usher the mare in. She took three steps…then stared.

"It's…it's…"

He smirked. "Yeah. I know."

Chapter 5: Outsides

"Oh…Dear, are you really going to wear that thing? Ponyville is rather small. Everyone already knows you don't have hair."

Cranky smiled softly at Muriel, then at himself and his false hair in the mirror. "Of course I'm wearing it. It makes me look…dashing."

Despite her earlier remonstrations, she giggled. "Oh, Cranky, Dear…I already think you're dashing. You don't need to wear a toupee to convince me of that."

"I know, Darling," he said, mussing his love's own hair with a gentle nuzzle, "I suppose I mean…it makes me feel dashing."

"Well…then that's okay, Dear."

Chapter 6: Hours

"Rarity…how much longerrrrr? This is so boooooriiiiiiiing."

"Not too long, Rainbow, dear. Just hold still. Another pin theeeeere…and theeeeere…and one there, too! Hmmm…lift your right front hoof, please."

"You said we were almost done at lunchtime, Rarity."

"I served you lunch, didn't I? Would you like a snack?"

"No! Well…maybe. But I'd like to eat it with my own hooves. Your magic makes everything taste…squishy."

"Well, you should be able to dine on your own. I've finished shaping the skirt."

"Finally. How do I get out—"

"Now I just need to pin the bodice!"

Chapter 7: Days

Twilight Sparkle imagined Luna was going to have little trouble fitting in back in Canterlot. The city straddled day and night, shops opening whenever it struck the keeper's fancy, staying open until they grew restless to wander the city under starlight.

Of course, Luna might do even better in Los Pegasas, that desert city that only thrived when the hot sun was down and the moon granted a little lunacy to night-long parties.

Twilight just hoped Luna would wait to visit Ponyville, because in that little town, no one found it strange that Twilight awoke to watch the dawn.

Chapter 8: Weeks

"Do you think…she forgot us?" Velvet asked, looking to her husband.

"Twilight? No," he said, far too quickly, giving his son a darting glance. "She's just…very busy. Ponyville hasn't had a librarian in years, you know. She's got a lot to do, cataloging, evaluating the collections, planning events—"

"So she forgot us," Velvet said, a quaver in the words.

"No, Mom," Shining Armor said, reaching over to rest a hoof on her shoulder. "I know Twilight thinks about us all the time."

Velvet looked at the ground and sniffled. "I just wish…she'd think of us…in writing…."

Chapter 9: Months

Pip couldn't read calendars. He'd barely met Cheerilee, after all, and class was just getting to the end of the alphabet song (he couldn't wait to find out how it ended).

However, the calendar at home had two panels for each month, the bottom for dates and the top for a picture. Hearts and Hooves day had a couple standing on a bridge. Winter Wrap Up was birds in trees, singing.

He turned and turned pages until he felt a chill on seeing a dark mare rearing before a moon.

Sighing, he turned back and scratched one more red X.

Chapter 10: Years

Hmmm…what do you imagine I am going to do to you when I return, dear sister? What could it be? Your imagination is…passable, but I was always better when we played pretend.

I think…I'll start with whatever little foal you've taken on as your latest pet project. You're always so…motherly to them. I wonder how protective you actually are…after all, you betrayed your own blood. What of someone you've just taken up as your latest fancy?

Then…after they're ruined…I'll move onto you. Oh, but Celly…Celly…I'll let your newest little foal watch.

Chapter 11: Red

It wasn't that he had nothing to say. Certainly not that he had nothing nice to say; he was a cheerful guy and saw good in the world at every moment.

It was just that he'd said it all…and no one had ever listened. Applejack working herself half to death, Mayor Mare governing Ponyville into the ground, Applebloom doing insane things she hated, trying to find out what she was destined to do for the rest of her life….

So he kept it to himself and watched, ready to be the strong shoulders that put it all back together.

Chapter 12: Orange

"Really, Equestria's current tax structure is just broken. Ruby Heart and I had to cut short our vacation in Cloudesdale this year. We've never had to do so before."

"I know what you mean. Just last month, Catamaran told me that we wouldn't be able to remodel the kitchen! And I was so looking forward to getting those new stainless-steel appliances by Maretag."

"If we can't live in comfort, then how does Celestia expect the rest of Equestria to manage?"
"Exactly!"

"Hordurves, miss?"

The blank-flank filly looked up and shook her strangely bare head. "Naw. I ain't hungry."

Chapter 13: Yellow

The birds were a big help. Each would stay up until they had to fetch the nursemaid, and then they would pick the next bird to replace them for a shift. And, right now, the shifts were only lasting about…a half hour.

So the birds were doing fine. Fluttershy, though….

She had lulled herself to sleep, this time, though even in dreams her wings remained curved around the small, white body sucking so greedily at a bottle that seemed twice his size.

Angel reflexively kicked out, startling Fluttershy back awake, but she just looked down on him and smiled.

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The Full Moon Diaries, chapter 9: Quick Study

2012-09-06T16:18:08Z

Chapter 9: Quick Study

With the minor improper meshing of their schedules, it was inevitable that Artemis occasionally had to leave Holly asleep in his bed in the morning, the major looking angelic even as she murmured over the loss of his warmth. Similarly, he would arrive home early on these days, his hours shifted in direct proportion to his early arrival. During these times, he took the effort to tidy up the house (an act he would have considered too urbane for his own hands only months before) and “set the mood” before Holly arrived. Artemis was a bit better at this than most males, having advanced from the candles-as-romance stage.

No, nothing so obvious as candles. Not even the fairy equivalent of “Let's Get It On” (which, Artemis was horrified to learn, was sung by a dwarf distantly related to Mulch Diggums). He simply...cleared the way. Every possible location for a tryst was put in perfect readiness, with all the available cushions fluffed up (gods, if Foaly only knew what had been done with those decorative couch pillows, he would never look at Artemis straight again), each room sprayed with an odor-eliminator (nothing ruined the mood more than Holly saying, with her head pressed hard the carpet, that it smelled a lot like JayJay), and the lights programmed to be dimmed if turned on. Then, of course, he readied himself: freshly showered, clean-shaven, and bolstered with a light snack, to give him the energy necessary to keep up with his strong lady. Months together and there was still such a disparity in their stamina, and so many wonderful things to try if he could just keep going.

It seemed, however, he would not be allowed to experiment this night.

“Lili...what?” Artemis said flatly.

On the other end of the cell network, Holly sighed. “She just had a bad breakup—”

“We are talking of Lili Frond, correct?” Artemis interrupted. “How does she equate a one-night-stand with a 'bad breakup'?”

“Artemis!” Holly snapped. “Will you...ugh.” There was a rustle of hair as Holly shook her head. “Whatever. She and I are going out for a girl's night. Don't wait up for me, I'll probably sleep at the Mansion tonight.”

Artemis scowled. “And why will you not just come back here?”

The phone crackled as Holly sniffed loudly and indignantly. “I think you need a night alone every so often. You're getting...presumptuous.”

Artemis raised an eyebrow, even though he knew his lover could not see the gesture. “'Getting'?”

The line went abruptly dead.

Artemis gaped at his phone a moment before sliding it closed, pocketing it, and shrugging. At least he'd got in the last word.

To be fair to the man, Artemis had spent a handful of nights without his lover since the night they first shared pleasures. He found them...dull. Even a night with Holly but without sex was preferable to a night alone.

He considered calling to see if Trouble would also be available for an evening's entertainment (he had found himself tolerating the man, in recent weeks, and Holly strongly encouraged him whenever he seemed to be developing a friendship), but knew the elf would be on his own mission tonight. One involving a thick-tipped black marker and enough cheap ale to make his self-denial semi-plausible. Foaly was also an option, but for the fact that Artemis had already left the centaur manning the Ops booth, and he loathed returning to the Plaza, even for company. His family was on vacation, so the possibility of chatting with them was also out, since he was not allowed to communicate on unsecured lines.

Artemis realized something with a shock: he had become a...social creature. In years previous, he would have met a night alone with a grateful sigh, one of Butler's expertly prepared cups of tea, and a book large enough to crush most purse-dwelling canines. Well...he could certainly do so now. A Bujold omnibus was located, the tea was passable for his own preparation, but the sigh was rather more a yawn, his choice of reading in bed the likely culprit. A sort of Pavlovian response, as he had hitherto only used this bed for two things, and the preferable activity was, apparently, not happening tonight.

He must have dozed off. Sometime later, he awoke as the mattress shifted under the slight weight of a well-maintained body. His felt significantly less cared-for as he sat up, blinking back sleep, the book slide down his bare chest. “Holly?” he inquired blearily.

Her soft face swam into view, the duplicitous eyes sparking delightfully. “Hey there, sleepyhead.”

Artemis felt that such a title lacked a lot of his accustomed dignity, but one did not argue with a lover too much. “I was under the impression that you wouldn't be joining me tonight.”

“Oh...well....” Holly hedged, tugging at the single, thin blue sheet Artemis had used to cover himself, easing it an inch down his torso, revealing a sparse swath of chest hair. “Lili and I got talking, you see, and she had this great idea, so I thought I'd try it out.”

Artemis grinned. An idea from Lili? The last time Holly had come home with one of those, they'd both been too exhausted to leave the house that weekend.

“Right, Lili?” Holly said, looking over her shoulder.

Artemis's eyes nearly popped out as a figure somewhat thinner than Holly's (only due to a lack in equal musculature) leaned around the first woman, her arm circling the redhead's waist until she seemed to wrap the major up inescapably, her chin resting on her coworkers's shoulder. “Yep. And you were right, boss,” she said, scrunching up her nose as she smiled, showing off full red lips and perfect teeth. “He does look cuter when he's sleeping. Imagine that.”

Artemis gaped. In most surprising situations, he could recover quickly, but awaking to unfamiliar women in his bed was not something he was used to. It was certainly nothing Butler had prepared him for (except perhaps an admonition to scream, because of that lady-assassin thing). Perhaps Trouble would have taken the event in stride, but Artemis was not a playboy, and he had mixed reactions. Both just so happened to focus on his genitals. Very soon, he would either piss himself or grow very...uncomfortable.

“Well?” Lili said impatiently. She pinched Holly's bare midriff, earning a yelp and glare for her impertinence. “Don't leave him like that. Poor boy looks about ready to run, and we don't want that, do we?”

“Not at all,” Holly agreed, disentangling herself from the blond. She began to crawl up the large bed, smooth skin whispering on the silken sheets. Each time her hand came down, she took a fistful of sheets, dragging them off Artemis's body inch-by-inch.

Artemis's hormones ordered him to focus on Holly, and they were mostly successful. She had put on a little makeup tonight, and her blue eyeshadow matched his eye perfectly, making the wickedness inherited from him all too noticeable. Lip gloss brought attention to her heavenly mouth, already slightly open, the tip of her tongue darting out to taste the sugar in the gel and further moisten the soft skin, making them look so wet that he could simply slide inside without an effort. Then his eyes drifted down Holly's face to find her criminally low-cut shirt. A borrowed item, no doubt, along with the black pleated skirt and...oh, gods, it couldn't be...oh gods, they were. The most dangerous dual black spikes of stiletto-heeled boots he'd ever seen. Artemis was almost ashamed to find that he was responding to the outfit. It looked like something from a bad porno, but damn, it was working.

This he took in for the first several seconds. Then his eyes drifted beyond, to where Lili sat with her legs tucked up to her body, like a true queen surveying her native lands (which he supposed strange men's bedrooms were to her...). She met his eyes with no hesitation, and her lips—painted the same soft pink as Holly's, and likely done deliberately, as it made Artemis think of alternative means by which they could have shared the shades—curved as she watched her superior officer slowly exposing her young man. When the sheet was down enough to reveal Artemis's undergarments, Lili laughed and clasped her hands before her mouth. “Oh! Good boy, Fowl! Boxers! It's the only way to go, really.”

Her voice finally seemed to snap Artemis from his shock. He backed away from Holly (if he'd had his wits about him, he would have taken the sheets with him, but instead exposed himself further) and looked about for some escape. Or the camera set up to record this cruel prank. “Holly, what are you doing?”

“Shh,” Holly urged, pouncing to keep up with her prey. She placed a firm hand on his chest, rolling her eyes a little as she felt the hammering heart and rapid breathing beneath. “Calm down, love. It's all right.” She straddled Artemis’s lap, keeping him pinned to the bed, her breasts almost smothering him as she drew closer.

“What is going on, Holly?” Artemis snapped, momentarily immune to breasts.

“Well, it's like I said: Lili had an idea.” Holly lifted her hand to Artemis's neck, her nails scratching his thin skin carefully “She's been with a lot more people than me, so she knows a lot about sex, so...she thought maybe she could tutor me.”

“Tutor?” Artemis shrilled. “If you want pointers, ask her to write them down, don't....” Artemis flailed about with one hand, not daring to describe what was going on, in the very slim chance he misunderstood Holly's apparent invitation for the Frond to join them in bed.

“Oh, no no no!” Lili protested, alarmed in much the same style as a fashion designer coming across a pair of shoes that just wont do. “How would I know when she's doing something wrong? No, this requires hands-on instruction.”

“Hands....” Artemis began, instantly petering out.

“Real-time, one-on-one,” Holly confirmed. Then she winked. “Or maybe one-on-two...or would it be two-on-one?”

Artemis flicked his eyes to his mate again. He knew this was one of the biggest fantasies of the average men. He also knew Holly had an extremely short temper and a killer right hook. “Holly...I....”

“Stop,” Holly chided, rubbing her palm along the slit in Artemis's boxers. “Aren't you supposed to be the one that enjoys learning?”

He was already hard, despite his fears, and Artemis barely had the resolve to feebly squirm away from the touch. It was such a simple caress, and he probably would have barely reacted on any other night, but this time a second pair of hungry eyes watched him, making him somehow doubly sensitive. Pure, glorious fire ignited in him, growing all the hotter as Holly stealthily worked Artemis's member free of his boxers, wrapping her thin fingers about the shaft, squeezing him to test rigidity.

She found things had advanced quite well, though she looked over her shoulder to consult with Lili. “He doesn't like hand-jobs that much.”

“What man does?” Lili asked rhetorically, shrugging. “And I don't teach them. Move on.”

“Yes, Professor,” Holly snarked, rearranging herself to move further down the bed, putting her head in alignment with what she held tightly in her fist.

“Oh shit,” Artemis said rather neutrally just before Holly stuck out her tongue and dragged it up the underside of his cock. He instantly closed his eyes, grabbing the pillows, savoring the warm wetness. Heaven.

A giggle from the foot of the bed.

Hell.

Artemis went tense at the sound of Lili's laughter. He suddenly wanted to flee again, but lost the urge as another lick came, the tip of Holly's tongue flicking the head of his erection, making it jerk in her hand. She blew at the wet skin, sending a shiver down his spine. They were all little tricks he had experienced before, but never had Holly used them in such quick progression. She was displaying her every skill for the benefit of the watching Frond, proving herself worthy of even greater secrets.

“Do we really...oh, gods, right there...I mean, do we have to do this with her watching?” Artemis spat out, opening his eyes just enough to glare at Lili, who was watching the action with a detached interest. Or she was at least trying to give that impression. Artemis could see the slight flush to her cheeks, the quickening of her breathing, and, most telling of all, the hardening of her nipples under a tight black spaghetti-strap shirt, all informing him that she very much appreciate the sight of her two friends in sexual congress.

“Nothing ventured,” Holly said, interrupting herself with another long, flat-tongued lick, “nothing gained.”

Artemis growled. He knew where he wanted to venture at this exact moment, but the second female presence was hindering his plans. And there certainly had been nothing gained by her presence, except for a general feeling of unease. He needed to make her leave, and began trying with a glare and baring of his teeth, taking on feral aspects to appeal to her also very instinctive nature. “I don't appreciate you sitting there judging me.”

“I'm not judging you.” Lili met Artemis's eyes, her brows raised, the left side of her face gaining a small smirk. The entire effect was dismissive, and she soon addressed Holly, terse. “Boss, you're forgetting his balls.”

Artemis choked. “She...what?”

Holly paused. Then shrugged. Tearing the boxers down with great speed, she completely exposed her lover, who was too shocked by what had been said to think of keeping the last of his clothes on. When the boxers were flung aside with due care—that is, none—the officer took a firm grip on his cock, pulling it up to expose his genitals in full. She trailed her tongue down...and down...and down.

An explosion. It was the most shocking, wonderful feeling Artemis had felt during oral sex since the first time Holly had serviced him. He knew, logically, that this feeling should be nowhere near as superb as the enveloping of his cock by warm, plaint lips, but the newness of Holly bathing his sack with her tongue made him moan and grow even harder than before.

“D...don't stop,” he whispered, hips rising, wishing there was some way to get both of his favorite sensations at once: mouth on cock and on balls.

One of Holly's hands hard risen to cradle his scrotum, nails oh-so-carefully scratching the skin, squeezing the balls within. Her other hand worked his cock in long strokes, focusing on the tip with tight, rapid, saliva-wet squeezes that made him gasp and try to squirm away from the ultimate sensitivity before the hand slid down again, tight and twisting slightly as it went.

Unheard by both parties, Lili watched, tapping at her collarbone with one hand, fingers moving in a rapid wave. Eventually, she nodded. “Good. Hand work is acceptable. Let me see you deep-throat, then.”

“See...what?” Artemis breathed, gaze fixed on his groin, not even looking at Lili, as if she were some disembodied spirit or a voice in his own head.

Holly lifted her head and positioned her mouth over Artemis's tip, holding his base firmly. She licked her lips. Then, opening her mouth wide, she lowered her head, at first not touching a single part of him, and then pressing his cock to the back of her throat. She pressed harder, mouth closing to swath his shaft with her lips. She pressed and pressed, a look of supreme concentration on her face, until her entire body jerked and she pulled back, gasping, eyes wide in alarm.

“That was terrible,” Lili snapped.

Artemis wanted to tell her to shut the hell up and then beg Holly to do it again, because it had been wonderful. He'd never been so deep, and he really should have felt bad for hitting his lady's gag reflex, but he could barely hold back enough to let her recover instead of shoving her mouth down on his cock again.

“Breath out, first,” lectured the blonde, gesturing at her neck and exhaling, the dip in her throat fluttering with the breath. “It opens up the throat and calms you. You're good at self control, so you can stand a few seconds without air.”

“My throat isn't wide enough,” Holly said, sullen. “It's not going to work.”

Artemis mourned.

“Oh, bull. You're just about the same build as me, and I do it all the time! You're just scared!”

Holly flared. No one nowadays dared question her bravery. No one but an uppity secretary. “I am not! It just...it can't be done!”

Lili leaned forward, getting in her supervisor's face. “Yes you are, and yes it can!”

“It can't!”

“Can!”

“Prove it!”

“Fine!”

Artemis was a modicum alarmed by the childish exchange, but that increased a thousand-fold as Lili turned and looked at him.

He had a mere second to respond.

He could not.

Lili shifted up the bed, snatched Artemis's member from Holly's hand, and plunged his length into her mouth. He felt a brush of air on his groin as she exhaled, and then he was sliding in. In and in and suddenly it was tight, then it was insanity. A pressure and he was through, tightness about his tip and an inch of shaft, with Lili's lips all the way down to his balls.

Holly watched, mouth open.

Lili turned her head just enough to look at her student, brows lowered and eyes narrowed, her point made. She held for a few seconds, and then pulled back, the release almost as intense as the taking. As Artemis gaped, restraining a whimper, Lili addressed her stunned student. “See,” she said. “Easy! Just calm down a bit and go for it.”

Holly's mouth remained open for a few more seconds. Then she scowled, eyes afire.

And licked her lips.

Artemis whimpered, cock bobbing.

Holly practically slurped him in, mouth so wet, as if she'd been salivating the whole time her friend serviced her lover. Artemis felt himself nudge the back of her throat, and then the brush of air as she also exhaled. And a pause.

Then tight, tighter even than Lili's throat, and the rough slide, her lips inching down, wetting his flesh to ease him in. Artemis could not look away. Despite her words to the contrary, Lili was definitely a little larger in the throat than Holly, and that translated to an even tighter fit. And less brain activity for Artemis.

Holly had closed her eyes, brows knitting in concentration, and it seemed to be working. He was deeper in her throat than he had ever been, and she wasn't gagging or pushing away, just moving along little by little.

He'd, once again, almost forgot Lili, but then she whispered, “Good, good,” placing her hand on the back of Holly's neck, stroking her soothingly. “Just relax.” She pressed down, and Holly did not resist, going deeper, faster, until her lips, like Lili's were brushing the base of Artemis's cock, and he thought time had stopped.

Holly's face was a little pale, full of focus, and then Lili's was right next to it, speaking softly in the major's ear. “Stick out your tongue.”

The slithering softness on the underside of Artemis's cock and the tiny tickle on his balls was almost too much. His hips jerked and he groaned, and Holly was pulling away, gasping for breath, tongue still hanging out.

“Excellent,” Lili praised. “A break is fine. Just don't leave him hanging.” She smirked, looking at Artemis. “It's rather pointless if he doesn't stay all worked up.” Lili's slightly paler hand joined Holly's, gripping higher on Artemis's member. Sliding up, way eased by the wetness of Holly's throat, squeezing Artemis's tip.

Artemis squirmed. Gasped. He wanted to tell the blonde to stop before Holly flew into a rage over her mate being handled by another, but then Holly's hand was moving, as well. Tight, short pumps on his base as Lili squeezed his tip, and they were looking at each other and smiling.

“Any further lessons, sensei?” Holly teased.

“Mmmm...not tonight...except...I need to make sure you can take it like a champ.”

Artemis's mouth went dry. “It?” What, exactly, was “it”?

“Mind helping me focus?”

“Of course,” Lili cooed. “You take top....”

“And you take bottom,” Holly concluded, and the women exchanged identical smiles.

Before Artemis could ask for an explanation, Lili's hand was gone, Holly's mouth replaceing it. She slid him in, within a second tapping to the back of her throat, but not yet swallowing, back up with a delicious friction, if reduced by the wetness of her lips and tongue, the latter of which stretched and contracted, it's slight roughness on his tip and the scar line of his circumcision sending little pleasurable itches up Artemis's scalp.

Lili watched Holly and nodded in approval. Then she gave Artemis a brief and terrible grin, and her head dropped. Soon, Artemis felt a wet rasp on his balls. And another. Lili bathed his testicles and the base of his cock, hands grasping one of his thighs, nails almost painful, then easing up, stroking to the joint of his leg, down past his balls.

The brush of her fingers on his premium was precisely timed to Holly's next move as, with another exhale, his member was forced deep down her throat.

“Shit,” Artemis said, hips rising, “I...I'm going to...Holly, please!”

But there was no need to beg. Holly let her tongue out for that tiny extra sensation and Lili stroked his premium, tongue also moving, mouth opening to suck in little bits of his flesh. Holly moaned about him, seemingly without explanation, and Lili laughed lightly in response. There were so many sensations, so close, but Artemis felt Holly's reaction and tried to discover the source. She was never one for theatrics. He stopped breathing entirely as he realized that the women’s tongues were not only servicing him, but playing with one another, tips flirting and stroking and getting just a little taste of male and female at once.

He came. Hard and fast, no more warning but those his body gave, balls tightening, cock momentarily growing harder. Then spilling straight down Holly's throat, his twitching matched by her swallows for a second or two. Holly was forced to pull back, breathing hard, mouth open. She caught most of his shots of cum with her open mouth, but her face took the rest, spunk hitting her cheeks and chin, her eyes closing just before being covered by the salty whiteness. She took slow, deep breaths, unable to focus, which left Lili to step in, grabbing and stroking Artemis's shaft, hard and quick.

She seemed to know his sensations even before they were felt, because her tongue left his balls right as they went unpleasantly sensitive, moving to his tip to lap delicately at the last dribbles from Artemis's slit. She held his shaft in two fingers, cleaning his length off. Finally, she let him go to suck on her fingers, never looking at him, as if Lili didn't even connect the salty fluid on her hands with the man groaning before her. “Well...that was rather impressive,” the princess praised Holly, sucking at the web between thumb and forefinger.

Holly laughed, wiping her eyes and opening them with some caution. “I didn't exactly take it like a champ....” She waved at her spunk-covered face.

“On the contrary,” Lili protested, studying Holly's face, reaching out to brush a dab of cum with her thumb. “Men love that. Seeing their women marked in any way.”

Artemis found that, yes, he couldn't stop looking at Holly's face, even when she rolled her eyes at his obvious fascination.

“And it's just a little cleanup,” Lili went on, leaning in. Her tongue came out once more to sweep up Holly's cheek, licking up a swath of cum.

Holly laughed, as if tickled, which wasn't precisely the reaction Artemis had expected. In return, she picked up Lili's hand, which still had some slickness, and took the pinkie into her mouth. She wrapped her lips about the base and dragged up, just the same as she had treated Artemis's member. Then the ring finger. Middle. And Lili was doing her own cleaning, moving from Holly's cheek to the corner of her mouth, and it seemed such a natural transition from sucking to licking to their tongues running over one another, mouths open, lips touching and then going into a kiss that was still so wide and tenuous that Artemis could watch as they went between broad strokes and barely touched tips and sucking one another's tongues. All while smiling, occasionally laughing, Lili's hands coming up to grasp at Holly's hips and pull her away from Artemis and to her own body.

Artemis nearly cried when they broke off and Lili looked at him, a brow quirked. She needed to repeat her order before Artemis even realized she was speaking Gnommish words.

“Move over, Fowl. It's your turn.”

“My...huh?” Artemis mumbled. He'd already had his turn.

“If you let me keep going,” Lili chided, stroking Holly's hip, “she's going to lose it right here, and you won't learn anything.”

Artemis thought this terribly inaccurate. Of course he was learning something. Lesbians make everything better.

“Move, Artemis,” Holly growled, eyes lidded, and he found himself complying, edging down the bed until he was sitting awkwardly behind Lili, who had gone back to ignoring him in favor of his own lover.

Or so he thought. “Now, girls start slow,” Lili said, and at first seemed to be just addressing the air. As she had gone back to kissing Holly, this time her neck and jawline, it took Artemis some time to realize he was the audience.

“Granted, Holly here is a bit...far along, after talking about this in the bar all night. Hmm...and sucking you off,” she said, as if the blow-job was a minor consideration. “So I don't have to be so...gradual...” Lili bit Holly's neck, making the woman's head fall back, mouth open in surprise. “But, in general, do take your time.”

A lesson. Artemis almost scowled. Lili Frond, LEP ditz, was trying to teach him. However, his brief outrage dissipated as he watched the blonde drag her tongue up Holly's neck, tracing her parted lips, then to the side of the major's head to just below her earlobe.

“And taking your time now can help later, for other sessions. If she knows what you can do, she'll think about it....” Lili's tongue flipped Holly's earlobe, earning a yelp. “Think and anticipate, so she's already halfway there when she's still at work, sometimes.”

“O-oh?” Artemis said, nearly squeaking as his gaze dropped and she saw that Lili's hand was gone from Holly's hip, now stroking the inside of her thighs, touch unhindered thanks to the short skirt, occasionally moving towards the woman's hidden vulva, making her body shake. “Does she...already anticipate you?”

“Hmm...maybe,” Lili whispered, brushing her nose up the curve of Holly's ear, her hand pinching the hem of Holly's skirt. “Maybe...there were some...difficult times in the Academy.” Lili's clever fingers pinched the fabric and moved it an inch down on the left. “Too busy to date...but so much...physical work. It drove us insane. So...maybe....” Her hand shifted to lower the hem on the right side. And another trade and another, until Artemis saw just a little of a pair of bright green panties beyond. “Maybe we made things...easy for one another.”

Holly was smiling, head lifting just enough to give Artemis a look. A look that swept away all the hypotheticals about Lili's statement. Then the wickedness was banished as Lili sucked the tip of Holly's ear into her mouth, the skirt low her boss's hips and the princess's hand playing with the line of Holly panties. “Gods! Lili....”

Lili's fingers slipped under the elastic band of Holly's bikini underwear, and when they came out again, there was a definite sheen, which she studied, already smirking so much from her lecture that she couldn't gain any wider a grin to show her additional approval. “See? She's already wanting it.” Lili kissed Holly's ear, nuzzling her cheek. “You are so easy, boss.”

Holly was obviously about to say something—something no doubt sarcastic or abusive—but Lili put her hand back down, palm cupped to Holly's vulva, fingers disappearing into the major's panties once more, and Holly was squeaking and lifting her hips, hands tearing the delicate bedsheets.

“Make sure you can see, Fowl,” Lili advised, pressing her other hand to Holly's collarbone, guiding her, laying her down on the pillows. “It's not a porno. This is a lecture.”

Artemis no longer felt insulted by this fact. He mutely followed orders, shifting to sit at Holly's side as Lili hovered over her body, back to running her tongue along the woman's neck, hand leaving her vulva, replaced by the blonde's pressing knee.

“Sometimes you are forced to leave the good parts behind,” Lili said, pausing to suck at Holly's collarbone. “Always give her some friction. Keep her going. Girls are good at multitasking, so as many pleasure points as you can manage, give them to her.” She illustrated by snaking one hand up Holly's shirt, another down to grab the woman’s buttocks, and soon Holly didn't know where to writhe, back arching between the touch at her breast and vulva. She made impatient noises, gasps, whines, but Lili just kept on, slow. “Men, you can turn on and off, no problem, but girls...we'll worry if we think we're winding down, and that just makes it harder for you. So don't let her cool down. Slow rise. Constant touching.”

“Please,” Holly was saying, eyes closed. “Tongue. Please.”

Lili smiled. “And be willing to follow requests, sometimes” She lifted the front of Holly's shirt, revealing breasts unhindered by a bra, extra soft and pliant from their lengthy freedom. Lili turned just enough to look at Artemis as she lowered her head, tongue out and pointed. She began to lick Holly's nipple with just the tip.

More whines, near cries, and Artemis wasn't sure if he should grit his teeth against a surge in jealous feelings or grasp his cock and work towards a second release while he watched. He'd just about settled on the latter, hand venturing down, when Lili frowned and ceased her licking.

“Oh, no way, Fowl. You've got duties. We'll be needing that.”

And her forbidding it just made the desire worse, but the idea of putting himself to these women’s use was enough to stay his hand, though he felt more than one painful throb as he continued watching.

“Mmm...good. Now. Erogenous ones. Obvious ones: ears, breasts, pussy. Essentials, of course. But if you really want to wow Holly, you'd better find her secondaries. I'll leave most of them to you, but, for example....” Lili moved down the bed, her hip brushing Artemis's as she went, his half-hard cock twitch in interest.

Holly propped herself up to watch, rapid breaths making her breasts shake, the shirt still only half off.

“Missed this?” Lili asked and, before Holly could get more than halfway through a nod, she nipped at the last ridge of Holly's ribcage

She squeaked. Squeaked and involuntarily parted her legs, then squeaked again at the next nip. Then it was all moans and tiny mewls as Lili bit and sucked just the left rib, which seemed in no way different from the ignored right. The abuse continued until Holly was panting for breath. Lili seemed to pause to allow some relief, but instead grabbed the bottom hem of Holly's skirt, pulling down.

As the material came away from Holly's vulva, she seemed to sigh in relief. Even a few feet away, Artemis could see the dark blue stain at the crotch of the panties where the new dark denim of the skirt had pressed to her wetness. Lili tsked at the sight of the ruined lingerie, reaching out to touch the mark.

“Ah! Ar...aaaaahhhhh...” Holly shook her head, biting her lip.

The Frond laughed. “I think she almost called your name, Fowl.”

“She's grown accustomed to doing so,” Artemis drawled, giving Lili a heated look.

“Or she just likes to scream,” the woman challenged.

“That too,” Artemis chuckled, letting the argument end.

Holly seemed intent to ignore their tiff, but got back to reacting when Lili moved the crotch of the panties aside and began to play with her slit.

“Questions are good,” Lili said, still sounding half-detached from what she was doing to this woman. “Very good. Sometimes a girl wants it smooth and wet, but other times maybe rough, hard, painful. What do you want, this time, Holly?”

“Wet!” The major said at once, as if she'd been waiting

“Added benefit,” Lili chirruped, looking at Artemis, “is that a little dirty talk is always appreciated. But do make sure to ask before you tell your girl that she has a slutty little pussy.” Lili looked back to Holly. “Though she does....”

Holly bit her lip, blushing just as she whimpered at the playful yet domineering words.

Artemis swallowed. He would have never dared to say such a word to his mate, but was it something she actually craved? Not a complete debasement, but simply sounds to remind her of what they were doing?

“So, in this case, you'd tickle. Play. Be gentle.” Lili instructed, her fingers playing on her coworkers slit, gently parting the folds, tracing through the dampness, avoiding that all-important pearl until she said, “And, of course, the clit.”

He could tell that Lili's touch was light, barely moving the shining pink nub, but Holly reacted as loudly as she had during their hardest fucking.

Lili smirked, leaning in to whisper in Holly's ear. “Does he touch you like this, boss?”

Holly clamped down on her lower lip and a very audible keen came from deep in her throat.

Tutting, Lili spread Holly's pussy wider. “Yes or no, please. Does he touch you like this?”

Artemis's eyes widened as, at the last word, Lili sunk her middle finger into Holly, twisting gently until her palm faced up. He could see the shift of tendons in her wrist as the woman flexed the finger, making Holly's hips rise up off the bed.

Suddenly, violently, Holly shook “no.”

With a harsh laugh, the woman turned a smug look on a very offended mate. “What's he like?”

“Fu...fucks hard,” Holly groaned, hands rising to grasp the iron headboard. “So hard...s'good.” The last was high-pitched, whether in apology to Artemis or a reaction to some internal manipulation was uncertain.

“Hard is good,” Lili agreed, giving Artemis a most patronizing look. “It is certainly my preference, but you preferred it slow, it the Academy.” She gave a stroke to the major's clit. “A sloooow,” another stroke, her thumb rolling the nub around in an endless circle, “buildup.”

Holly was shaking. Gasping. Her face shone with sweat. “G...gods, Lili....”

Artemis felt a heart-stopping lurch in his chest as his mate moaned another's name.

“You're going to give him a complex,” Lili warned, bending her head down. “Never thought him the jealous type.”

Artemis thought this an unfair assessment. Jealousy while watching someone else pleasure your lover, rather than just suspecting it was happening, seemed entirely within reason. Gods, just seeing Holly prop herself up to watch Lili was....

Artemis's cock throbbed again.

“Don't worry,” Lili teased, looking at Artemis. “I'll always ask your permission first, Fowl.” She bit her lower lip, almost demure. Coquettish, though she couldn't manage any sort of innocent flush. “So...can I lick your mate's pussy?”

His tongue was far too thick and clumsy to answer. Artemis look at Lili. Then to Holly...or, more accurately, to Lili's fingers slowly pumping into his lady, everything so wet and red, her clitoris engorged and moving under Lili's thumb.

He nodded.

Lili giggled, turning to Holly. “Do you hear that? He'll let me!”

“Unh...please,” Holly whined, paying no attention to the exchange.

“Of course,” the princess whispered, shifting to lay down and finally, finally Lili nestled her mouth between Holly's legs and delicately traced the tip of her tongue up the major's slit.

Holly's breasts shook with each gasping breath, though Artemis mostly ignored them, preferring to memorize every moment of Lili's tongue carefully avoiding his mate's clitoris, the princess's fingers spreading Holly's lips wider so she could lathe at the inner labia, her tongue barely thrusting into the woman's opening. He loved doing the same himself, but seeing another, and a woman, doing it....

And then, Lili stopped, looking up at Artemis, her lips shining. “Sorry. Got a little carried away. She tastes good.”

Artemis was going to wave her off, give his go-ahead, but Lili sat up and turned, leaning into him, and Artemis couldn't think as he felt her long nails scratch the back of his neck, her breasts brushing his chest, her breath on his lips.

“Come on,” she whispered. “Show me what you can do.”

Then she fell back, dragging Artemis down with her.

His arms flailed as he fell, and Artemis barely organized them in time to prop himself up, instead of falling onto a cushion of naked woman.

He almost laughed in relief as he felt the cotton skirt on his cock-head. Yes! Lili was still clothed, of course! It was okay!

But that didn't matter much when the princess rolled her hips up into his, her shirt skirt doing nothing to keep his cock from slipping between her thighs.

He was more than a little petrified.

Lili looked up at him, still playing her sharp nails on his nape. She laughed, deeper than seemed possible for the entirely feminine elf. “While I'm very curious about that cock of yours,” she purred, squeezing her thighs together, sending Artemis's trapped member twitching, “the lesson is not over.” Pushing Artemis's shoulder, she forced him off, landing this time between Holly's legs.

Artemis found himself looking up at his mate with the most sorrowful, shame-filled eyes “H-Holly, I didn't—”

“D'arvit, lick me!” Major Short snarled, putting her hand to the back of Artemis's head and pushing down.

Arguing seemed a bad idea, so Artemis complied.

He was only a few licks in when Lili huffed. “No, no! Weren't you listening!?” She batted Holly's hands away, grabbing Artemis's hair and pulling him up just enough to halt his work.

“Lili, no!” Holly whined, reaching for Artemis again. It did a bit to sooth his abused ego, at lest.

Seeing the hands approaching, Lili let Artemis go, grabbing Holly's wrists, moving to straddle Holly's chest so she could put her entire body weight behind holding Holly's hands to the pillows at the side of her head. “No!” she shouted, in a tone Artemis was more likely to associate with dog training than with an old lover. “No, Holly. He has to lick your pussy right!”

“P-please,” Holly whined, squirming. “I want...I want....”

Lili looked down, down past her stomach and between her legs, peeking at Artemis's face from between her thighs. “Unreasonable demands. She's like this at work, too. Shall I silence her?”

Artemis—still about two inches from one pussy and now about a foot from another—was smooth enough to just raise a brow.

Lili grinned and—while Holly was in the middle of once more begging please—she turned to the major and locked their lips together.

Artemis was given about ten seconds to shift his view and watch the women as they shared slow, open-mouthed, wandering tongued kisses, their breasts pressed together. Then, panting, Lili broke the kiss and glared back at him. “Lick her or get out of the way so we can rub off!”

Artemis had never heard this term before, but with his face to both women’s pussies, he figured it out easily enough. He considered just sitting back so they would.

Lili's growl of “now” told him which was the proper response, though, so he sunk his head back down and followed instructions. Tongue slow. Broad and wet. Not spending all his time on his mate's clit, but wandering. Treating her like a dessert that was almost too rich to eat. He used one hand to hold Holly's labia apart, tongue running across her entrance, never going in, taking his time before extending the licks all the way up to finally tickle her clit.

“Mmph!” Holly struggled, hips rolling. “Mmmmmph!”

“Fingers,” Lili gasped on behalf of the other woman, stopping their kiss and releasing Holly just long enough to grasp the bottom of her own shirt, peeling it off to reveal that she, like her companion, had spent the night bra-less When they went back to work on one another's mouths, it was with the addition of their bared breasts pressed tight together, only getting a little distance when Lili decided it was safe enough to leave Holly's hands free and they began to squeeze and stroke breasts and hips and ears.

Artemis, after a moment's pause—though admirably still licking instead of just freezing up and jizzing all over the bed at the sight—nodded, but he didn't sink his fingers into Holly right away. He stroked her thighs, traced the crease between leg and hip. Pinched her labia, making his mate squeak, which brought an approving chuckle from Lili.

Then he stopped licking Holly so he could suck on his fingers, making them slick.

Holly's whine increased at the loss, her head tossing back and forth until she escaped Lili's mouth. “N-no! Please, Artemis!”

He rumbled deep in his chest. Yes. The right name. As a reward, he pressed a kiss to Holly's clit and touched his fingers to her entrance, palm up, pushing in slow.

“No,” Holly gasped again, turning her head to avoid Lili's questing lips. “Clit. So close. I'm gonna...I....”

“Oh, I've got this,” Lili purred, confusing Artemis for just a moment.

She shifted down Holly's body, her back straightening out, and then it was just her hips moving, legs parting, hand coming down to move the damp pink panties formerly hidden by her skirt aside until the two women were hip-to-hip, their vulvas pressed together. Both had their legs spread so wide, their labia opening from the stretch, wide open so Artemis could see deep into them, wet, red, and mysterious entrances and small, pink clits pressed together.

He watched, mouth open, hand moving on it's own by now, gently fucking Holly as he watched the women rub against each other. Their breathing was speeding up and Holly was gasping, whispering Lili's name and his, as well. Lili laughed around a kiss, her tongue tripping out to play with Holly's mouth, her hand attending to the redhead's breasts. Holly returned the favor by defying all previous lessons about tenderness—a move undoubtedly chosen from their previous experiences—and twisting and tugging the secretary’s nipples.

“Lick,” Holly gasped between Lili's teasing kisses.

Artemis considered this. He was going to have to be very careful. Still, he moved his mouth closer, head swimming from the scent of two females, both so wet, so close. He’d just begun lapping about his fingers when Holly spoke again.

“Lick us,” she whispered.

His tongue froze, as did the rest of his body. Exactly at his eye level, he saw Holly and Lili's mingled pussies. Objectively, not a particularly pretty sight, but it was making his balls ache, knowing what the women were doing. And, now, what they wanted him to do....

“Please,” came a third whisper.

Artemis's ears burned and he stopped licking Holly entirely, mouth dropping open.

“Pleeeeeease,” Lili repeated, rolling her hips into Holly's. “Lick my pussy, Fowl.”

Well, then...no sense in arguing....

He didn't dive right in. He was a smart man. He'd been given lessons. Artemis watched their rubbing clits, waiting, calculating, seeing the perfect opportunity and slipping his tongue between

They were so soft, but he still nearly got crushed between for his trouble as both women gasped, hips jerking together. Holly's cries in particular doubled, and he went swiftly back to work, deciding that getting between them was the wrong tactic, instead flicking his tongue up and down, transferring between their two so-similar and yet utterly unique slits. Lili had a bit less musk, wasn't quite as wet, and she was completely shaved, letting Artemis's tongue move so very quickly. He teased her entrance and, when her cries nearly reached Holly's in volume, he put his free hand on Lili's ass, squeezing, curving his his thumb down to tentatively play with the princess's hole.

Dear gods, they were both saying his name. Moaning it into one another's mouths. Crying out louder in turns corresponding to which woman he serviced. He wondered if he could focus on Lili just long enough to get her as close as Holly without his mate growing frustrated, but just as he had this thought, Holly tensed and Lili responded with a harsh laugh and an almost violent bucking of her hips. The blonde knew his mate almost as well as he.

A second later, he felt Holly tighten rhythmically around his fingers, and her voice came back, hoarse, alternating names.

He abandoned Lili's pussy to attack his mate's. Artemis felt a little bad for that, but the magnanimous royal just went on thrusting against Holly, pushing her through a long, loud orgasm, assisted by Artemis's tongue, which was no longer gentle. He couldn't quite get to Holly's clit, so he licked everywhere else, pumping his fingers deep, tips curled up to caress her g-spot. It was a good minute before he felt the contractions in Holly's vagina becoming weaker, corresponding to mere gasped words instead of full screams. The two elves worked carefully to keep the third's pleasure going as long as possible, and it was truly exhausting work.

Eventually, thought, it was obvious that no more could be done. Lili groaned in disappointment, slowing her hips to ease Holly's over-sensitive clit. Artemis back off as well, gasping. Before laying with Holly, he had not expected sex—and even cunnilingus—to be so energy-draining. He was almost glad his part was done, sitting on the backs of his legs to let his cock go back on display. There was a wet spot from where he’d rested, his precum having flowed freely while he tasted the two women. Now it beaded up again as he anticipated their return to the night's first lessons. Perhaps Holly would allow Lili to give a full demonstration, so he could empty his balls deep down the princess's throat.

Of course, there would have to be negotiations, first, and he left that entirely in Holly's hands.

“So....” the major huffed, nearly normal, head tilting to the side, lips twitching.

Artemis's ears itched. Terribly.

Lili also cocked her head. “My fee?”

Holly looked past Lili to her young lover. “I think that just about works.”

Lili craned her head about, eyes darting up and down Artemis's body, lingering very obviously on his member. “Just about,” she agreed, sitting up, gasping as her vulva had one last slide against Holly's.

Holly sat up as well, only using her abdominal muscles to keep herself upright. It was an impressive display of strength that Artemis could never hope to match, and it left her hands free to grip Artemis's ankles.

Which allowed Lili to back up until her pussy dragged along the man's cock, his little beading of precum joining her thorough wetness

Artemis watched it all, feeling as if the world was in slow motion. Like he was watching a bullet approaching, instead of a shaved, half-naked princess. He wasn't entirely sure which was worse for his health. “H-Holly, what—”

“It's very rude,” Lili growled, pressing her vulva into Artemis's pelvis, his cock sliding up between her lips and under her thong, resting against her clit, where she reached down to stroke it's underside and his balls, “to say someone else's name while fucking.”

His mouth made the shape of “fuck,” but what came out was more along the lines of “feeeeeeeeck.”

Lili laughed, and it made her body shake just enough to minutely jerk at Artemis's cock, which twitched in response. “Aw...Holly, he sounds so Irish! I think it's a defense mechanism.”

“It is,” Holly grinned. “Why else do you think I've got a grip on him?”

Lili looked down at Artemis's restrained ankles and hummed contemplatively. “That's not going to work. He needs to fuck me back. That was the deal.”

“Deal?” Artemis squawked

Holly considered this and glared at her mate.

He swallowed, silenced.

After some hesitation, the major slowly uncurled her fingers.

Artemis's failure to move was less about obedience and more fear that any shift would spur Lili to shift and take things further.

The fact that the princess's pussy felt fantastic had absolutely nothing to do with his delayed escape.

Holly shifted to her hands and knees, crawling up the bed until she could sit up, her chest pressed to Lili's. They looked at one another, faces so very close, and grinned. Then Holly placed her hands on Lili's waist and rested her chin on the woman's shoulder, looking past her to Artemis. She spoke to him, very, very, soothingly. “It's her payment for lessons. I am going to touch her. Lick her. All over. Artemis....”

His mouth was dry. His stomach clenched. And his balls throbbed, screaming at him to mate this new, unclaimed, supple female.

Holly saw it in his eyes, and she smirked. “Fuck her, Artemis.”

There was a thick fog in his mind, and he could have never worked through it all on his own and got to business, despite how his desire to take advantage of the orders.

Luckily, Lili was more proactive, moving at Holly's harsh words. Her hips rocked forward, slipping up Artemis's cock until his tip rested at her entrance.

It was then that instinct took over and Artemis clasped his hands on top of Holly's at Lili's waist, pulling the princess onto him as Holly matched his move with a push.

Lili's pussy-lips parted before his cockhead just...so beautifully, and she felt as good as she looked. She was wet, so ready, no hesitation or drag of dry skin as he sunk right down until he was balls deep, their groans surprisingly similar in pitch.

“Lili,” Holly huffed, shifting to press her entire body against the other woman's, hands coming around to grip her ass, leaving Artemis to steady her waist. “How do you like my mate's cock?” Apparently, she had no intention of getting an unbiased answer, as she squeezed Lili's ass tight and pulled her off her lover before swiftly spearing the woman again.

Artemis kept his grip and just watched as Holly moved against Lili, as if she were the one fucking the princess, merely using his dick as a tool. He was somewhat detached to the sensations—a good thing, as he undoubtedly could have finished far too quickly—instead memorizing everything the women did.

Holly, biting Lili's neck. Lili reaching up and grasping Holly's breasts, rolling them in her palms. Both women bringing their open mouths together, enjoying their playful, tenuous kisses and touching of tongues, then craning their heads to the side so they could lick at one another's earlobes, producing sharp, breathless cries.

It took some time for Holly to take herself out of the moment long enough to talk. “Ah...Artemis....”

“Yes?” He growled, feeling so powerful, watching the two women find pleasure before him, from him. Perhaps he should have felt used—he was really just a breathing dildo, at the moment—but he'd never been one to consider himself a victim.

“Will you fuck her, already?” Holly whined “I need to lick her”

Lili moaned incoherently, moving her own hips on Artemis's cock, apparently trying to convince the major that she was being adequately bred. This, though, was not significant proof for Holly, who glared at her lazy mate.

Artemis looked back at Holly...and showed just a little teeth.

Lili was just beginning to lift off Artemis's cock when he yanked her back down, almost hurting himself as her firm ass bumped into his stomach. It was worth it for her shriek. His name. Lili Frond had called his name. Holly did so often enough, but she'd spent over a decade away from a man before accepting him. Lili, party princess, had plenty to compare him to, and he was making her moan and say his name without being bidden.

Holly had told him to fuck the princess. He was damned well going to do it.

His hands left Lili's waist, taking away some of his ability to thrust, but he shifted them up, one grabbing her shoulder to force the blonde down, his hips snapping up to make up for the leverage. His other hand dug into Lili's hair and clenched, fisting and pulling on the silky strands, earning a shocked cry. Rather than letting up, Artemis pulled Lili's hair until her back arched and her head came close enough for him to access her ear.

He began sucking it, slowly but thoroughly, from the pointy tip down nearly to the earlobe, his tongue working inside his mouth to trace the shape. He could feel Lili's pussy gently pulsing on his cock as he slid in and out, enjoying the drag and press of her on his every inch. The only thing better than her teased entrance was the tightness of her at his very base, her labia giving his balls the tiniest caress.

Holly watched this all, breathing heavily at her mate fucking her old lover. For a while, she just let him show off, and he acquitted himself well. Artemis was a commanding lover. He grabbed hard, thrust deep, and was just so damned smug while he used you. The idea that he might fail to please a lady never entered his head, and that confidence was just so hot.

Lili had a bit more experience, though, so she was perhaps less impressed than Holly had been. Enjoying the fucking, yes, but not distracted from what was supposed to be happening. She opened her eyes a slit and did her best to focus on Holly. “Please. You owe me.”

And Holly laughed. Indeed, she owed the woman for teaching Artemis and herself, and for that great, full-body orgasm. Lili deserved the same.

So, instead of studying their coupling, she began to sink down Lili's body, kissing her neck, her collarbone, the swell of her breasts, then biting the woman's nipples, making her shriek. Artemis's sudden gasp and his sudden freeze showed that he felt the pleasant results, having to keep himself still to stay in check. This gave Holly a chance to continue her work without focusing on his rhythm, and to do so more gently. She flicker her tongue on Lili's left nipple until it was quite hard, then pinched it with her fingers while her mouth switched to work on the right. Once both nipples were prepared, she moved randomly, licking or sucking or nipping as the whim came.

“N-nooooo,” Lili whined, putting her hands to the top of Holly's head. “Stooooop.” She pressed down, dislodging Holly from her breasts and shoving her down until the major scented thick arousal and the tiniest scent of cum from Artemis's earlier orgasm. She'd though she'd caught almost all of it in her mouth, but some had apparently dribbled onto his balls.

“Lick,” Lili rasped.

“What are you?” Holly grumbled. “Damned queen?”

“Shut up!” Lili snapped, shoving until Holly's mouth was right on her pussy, right next to where her vagina and Artemis's cock were sliding together.

Holly had to just watch this for a bit. It was fascinating. Porn could not do this sight justice, though perhaps the participating parties had a lot to do with that. Lili's skin stretched to accommodate her mate's cock, her entrance squeezing his hard member slightly as it worked its way in, the wetness covering his dick when he came back out. She'd made each of these elves cry in ecstasy, seen them up close individually, and now they were learning one another.

“She's impatient” Artemis warned around his mouthful of Lili's ear, venturing a slow, deep thrust.

“It's a major flaw of hers,” Holly agreed, then slid her tongue out and all the way across Lili's slit, from the bit of tough skin near her anus all the way to her prominent clitoris, which she bathed in broad strokes.

“Gods,” Artemis cried, tightening his grip on Lili's shoulder until his knuckles whitened and blue sparks flashed under his nails “She just...got...tighter.” Though the difference must not have been so great, his breath grew far more labored, his thrusts slower, eyes nearly shutting in concentration. Not all the way, though, as he finally surrendered Lili's ear so he could shift his head to rest his chin on the lieutenant's shoulder, looking down at a red-head buried between the legs of the blonde creature he fucked.

Lili also looked at Holly's face, though she enjoyed a vastly superior point of view. “S...suck it,” she pleaded. “Suck my clit.”

Artemis couldn't see the act, but he sure felt it when Holly complied. Felt Lili's pussy suddenly begin spasming, her hips rolling counter to the slow rhythm he was trying to maintain.

“N-no,” he gasped, clenching his eyes shut, thinking of math, science, fucking crunch-ball, anything to keep his finish at bay. “I'm too close. Stop—”

“Do it,” Lili wailed, rocking back hard. “I want it!”

“No,” he hissed, feeling his balls tightening. “You need to fi—”

“Now, dammit,” Lili howled, reaching back and grabbing Artemis's hair, using it to pull him back to her ear, her other hand likewise pressing Holly's head into her pussy.

“B-but,” Artemis tried, the brush of his lips on Lili's ears sparking another sharp internal clench.

“Do it, Artemis,” Holly snapped. “She's a fucking cum-slut!”

“S-she...what?” Artemis croaked, again looking down Lili's body, between her beasts to Holly's scowling face.

“Ugh...ass,” Holly snapped and got back to her licking. Though, this time, instead of servicing Lili, she gave just a few...small...licks to Artemis's tender balls.

“Holly, s-staaaaaah!” Too late. A clench, a fire in his gut, and he was gone. Tension left him, and he was fluid and mindless. The instinct to thrust, to leave his cum as deep in the princess as possible overtaking every reservation and worry about not satisfying her.

A moment later, he realized he needn't have worried.

Lili's back took on an almost painful arch, her breasts thrust out, body aligned to merely take Artemis's cock and cum, and the spasming of her pussy resolved into one hard, almost painful clench, followed by an ear-splitting cry.

He snarled, pure beast, and bit Lili's ear, getting a louder cry in response.

“Lili,” Artemis growled. “Lili. Lili!”

She cried back to him, “Artemis! Artemis! Artemis....”

“Artemis!” Holly shouted.

The man's entire body jerked, the world coming into terrible, sharp focus.

Holly looked down at her lover from the end of the bed where she crouched. Or she tried to look. Her eyes were half-lidded and wandering, sometimes independent of one another. Her body—clothed in a tight green shirt and even tighter brown jeans—swayed side to side, the visible muscles in her forearms twitching as she tried to stabilize herself, but not doing so well, based on the few times she seemed to almost toppled off the bed. Even from the feet of the bed, Artemis could smell something fruity and of a very high proof.

“Hi-iiiiiii,” Holly flirted, crawling up the bed until she nuzzled into Artemis's neck.

“Hi,” he squeaked. Think. Thinkthinkthink. Not good. Very not good. He was working the events out, catching up, and he knew that things were very not good. “H...Holly?”

“Mmmm?” She ventured for her lover's ear, but he craned his neck back to remain free, and she grumbled, giving up rather quickly.

Artemis swallowed down fear. “Was I...talking...in my sleep?”

Holly paused for one...terrifying...minute.

Then whined, “I'unno,” and began placing slathering kisses on Artemis's neck. “Fuck meeeeee,” she demanded.

Artemis nodded and...found he was incapable. A little shifting of his hips made his limp member slide through something quite slick in his boxers, informing him of the reasons.

“Give iiiiit,” Holly said, snaking her hands under the blankets.

Artemis thought fast. Grabbing Holly's waist and taking advantage of her lack of coordination, he tumbled his mate onto her back and got to work on a long, thorough review of his lessons.

############33

The only person more exhausted than Holly the next day was Artemis. It certainly showed in his work—three typos!—and Foaly made no efforts to hide his disgust So, only two hours in, he put his hoof down and told Artemis to go rent a nap pod downtown.

Artemis was just loyal enough to stagger up to Holly's office, opening the door to find Holly...and Lili.

Images flashed across his mind's eye. Blonde and auburn hair pressed together, over quaking breasts, between toned legs, on throbbing cock—

He coughed and made his face go blank.

Holly looked up and Artemis winced at the dark circles under her eyes. Lili also looked and, after a pause, snorted, going back to her review of paperwork.

“I've reserved a nap pod,” Artemis said. “Room for two?” He tilted his head in question.

Holly's body slumped. “Yeeeees,” she moaned, more heart-felt than anything she'd said last night. Turning to her secretary, she pleaded, “Hold down the fort?”

The princess—in perfect make-up, immaculate dress, and with the brightest of eyes—saluted with her digi-pen.

Smiling at Lili first, Holly turned to Artemis and held up a finger before dashing off to her office proper.

The door closed behind her.

Silence. Utter silence.

For about five seconds.

“So...was I any good? Lili said, flicking through documents on her data tablet.

Artemis stared. “...Pardon?”

“In your dreams.” Lili lifted her eyes just enough to look Artemis full in the face. “Was I any good?”

His mouth went dry.

“I thought so,” Lili drawled, going back to her work.

Artemis was about a quarter of the way to a response when Holly left her office, swinging on a jacket and grabbing her mate's arm.

He was pulled off balance in her wake, keeping his eyes on Lili just long enough for her to lift a hand and wiggle her fingers in farewell.

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Harry Potter: Hufflepuff Don't Care

2012-08-09T22:23:37Z

One month into the 2011-2012 school year, Pomona Sprout announces her end-of-year retirement. Her assistant, Neville Longbottom, is more than a little confused, and seeks her out for her reasons, only to find out something isn't...quite right about Hufflepuff House.

( Read more... )

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FANFICTION: Pressed to Your Scars (Castle, NC-17)

2012-07-28T07:08:07Z

Title: Pressed to Your Scars

Fandom: Castle

Pairing: Castle/Beckett

Rating: NC-17 (yay!)

Kink Bingo prompt: 38, guns/blades

It's a week into their new relationship when Castle finally figures out Beckett's secret kink, and it's sort of shocking, and he entirely approves.

( Click here to continue )

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An update on the Critics United situation

2012-07-12T06:08:35Z

Seems Fanfiction.net isn't as intelligent as I'd hoped. I came home today to find myself unable to access FF.net. Consultation with a few people online told me it was my issue, and not a site-wide thing. A check on my phone with the 3G on told me that it was likely my IP address, and not a localized thing.

I spend the afternoon in the library, saving my reviews, author alerts, and favorites, in case my account was about to be deleted. Upon arriving home, I found FF.net access was fine, so I am unsure if it's a ban or if it was some other issue.

As of five minutes ago, I joined YourFanFiction.com. This site is in its infancy, but aims to fix many of the issues plaguing FF.net. It allows MA stories, most importantly to my readers.

I know I can't outright abandon my FF.net readers, so, as long as my profile isn't deleted, stories will remain there. I will be contacting each of my readers with notes on how to access my other accounts, and will begin simultaneously posting new material on AO3, YFF.com, and my Dreamwidth and LJ accounts.

One week later, FF.net gets the updates.

The purpose of this delay is to force my fandom to leave this thoroughly unsatisfactory site. I don't expect AO3 or YFF to replace FF.net immediately, but I think it should be the goal of every fandom to show FF.net that its practices are completely incompatible with the notion of "fandom." You can't pick and choose. And you certainly shouldn't expect a profit if you do.

I encourage all current users of FF.net to install AdBlock Plus for use against FF.net. It's revenue is entirely based upon advertisements and I am, quite frankly, sick of them profiting off my work, and then telling my that some of my work isn't pure enough.

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Kitsune Heart's Kink Bingo card

2012-07-01T21:40:04Z

OMG, I GOT TICKLING! AND CAGED! AND WHIPPING! AND STRAP ONS! AND AUTHORITY FIGURES! AND HYPNOSIS! WHEEEEEEE!

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